If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Randomize
