i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I didn't notice because vodka
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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