Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
