did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
