We won't sleep together?
Barsexuality is the new black.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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