dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
