woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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