At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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