I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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