You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
