he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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