i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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