Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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