why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
