Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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