Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
