Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
