I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
