i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
