his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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