I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
