Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
