sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
