OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm always down for nudity.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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