I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
