The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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