im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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