Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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