I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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