Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
why is half of my head shaved?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
