you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
