we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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