The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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