rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I enjoy the company of your penis
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
