I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
