At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
