Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
