She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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