Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
