If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
