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I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
