these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
