Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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