When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
