in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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