omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
what is it with giant penises always finding me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
