My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
