What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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