Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
