Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
