we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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