You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
